Hi all, hope you're well!
So today was my last day of my first year in uni (besides exams, but we don’t talk about that), and it's been one hell of a ride! I've learned a lot, not just about how the body works and (unfortunately) how plants work, but also about myself - and I've had the opportunity to meet some absolutely amazing people along the way. Despite the apprehension, excitement and butterflies I felt on my first day of uni, it's been a fantastic few months with a lot more ups than downs!
As a Beat young ambassador and as a fresher, I'm often asked how I coped with the transition to university. That's a great question! This change can be tough for many people - the step-up to uni often comes at a time when we are most vulnerable, as many mental health disorders manifest before the age of 30 (1), and major life changes such as moving away from home can act as a trigger for the onet of a mental health disorder (2). Since 2007, the number students disclosing a mental health disorder to their university has been increasing, although it's comforting to know that these issues are being talked about, as it's reported that there has been a 94% increase in the number of uni students attempting to access support services over the last 5 years (3).
All the same, the services we currently have in place to support these students are under immense pressure (4). The waiting times of support services are long, and sometimes people who "aren't that ill" will slide under the radar, or their treatment will be unsuccessful because their issues are "too complex". However, if you feel you are in need of professional support it is worth persevering. When I went to see the GP in 2015 about my eating disorder, I was told I was “malnourished” and an eating disorder was never alluded to; being “brushed off” like that can feel like a real kick in the teeth, yet it can also feel like a relief as it indicates that things can’t be that bad. Only a few days later, a nurse and psychiatrist seemed to recognise there was a deeper issue.
If you really feel like you are struggling, this is not the case! It’s awful, but whether or not you receive the support you’re looking for can depend on who you see, what you say, and on the state of the support services you’re trying to access. If you’re thinking of seeking help, or even if you’re not, in this post I’ll be sharing how I managed to come out of year 1 of uni in one piece!
Put the Work Aside, Look out for #1!
Get active! - I know this one sounds horrible and counterintiutive to many people, e.g. if depression has made them feel unmotivated it can be really hard to perform even the simplest of tasks, never mind go for a run! Getting active definitely doesn't have to be that intense, just going for a walk, swim, bicycle ride, or whatever tickles your fancy at your own pace is great. You can even ask a friend to join you, which makes it even more enjoyable with an incentive to go through with it! Remember, however that activity isn't a competition and should be something done for the pleasure of it. Please don't feel like you need to push your body to the limits on a run if you don't enjoy running, exercise can take many forms and you may find it helpful to join a club to pace yourself.
Meditation and mindfulness - Unfortunately meditation isn't something I can manage due to my attention span of Dug the Dog from Up, although it certainly has good reviews and know it helps many people with evidence to back it up! Mindfulness is a good practice to adopt, with many apps and books available for "self-taught" midnfulness. Since dabbling in CBT and mindfulness with my lead nurse during my time at CAMHS, I've carried many of the techniques with me, which allow me to rationalise unhealthy thoughts and feelings.
Do what you've gotta do! - What do you enjoy doing? After coming to uni, I was slightly stumped at that question as I no longer attended my regular clubs at home and didn't join any societies here. For the first few weeks, I really just threw myself into the work and did little much else. As it turns out, I enjoy creating new things, and reading, and drawing, and swimming, and learning bass and singing out of tune in the shower! These things are all nice to do when I need a little time out, so don't be discouraged if you feel like you don't enjoy anything anymore, as I tried out a lot of things before I finally found stuff I could drop into. Ask a friend if they'd like to attend a society or event with you, as it can be scary showing up alone, and they might enjoy it too!
Link up! – Admittedly, that’s easier said than done. Joining societies and meeting new people can be a terrifying prospect, but it really is like getting a boulder over a hill. It looks daunting at first (“I have to climb that?!”), then you get to the peak (“Hey, it’s pretty cool up here!”), and then the rest is a breeze. You don’t have to be rolling in friends and going out every night, many people can manage just fine with a few friends and a cosy night in. There are societies for both, and in fact there’s pretty much a society for everything! Most importantly, freshers are like spiders: they’re more afraid of you than you are of them, or perhaps you’re equally scared of each other. Sit next to people in lectures, awkwardly introduce yourself to them, post in your course/accommodation group chat if you have one, arrange to meet up. Everybody is in the same boat and they’ll be happy to bump into a friendly face!
Don’t be Afraid to say no – or yes!
As much as it may seem like uni life is all about drinking and partying, it definitely doesn’t have to be. Personally, I choose not to drink just because I don’t like the idea of it, and although I don’t go out too often I really enjoy it when I do (let’s not mention the fact that I can’t dance)! There have been times where I’ve been invited out but haven’t felt up to it, and it’s important not to give in to FOMO. If you feel like you’re not in a good headspace, if you’re generally just shattered, or if you’ve got a big essay due in the next day and know you should really get it done, you don’t have to push yourself out for the night just so you don’t miss out.
That brings me onto another topic altogether – relationships! Another thing that people think uni is all about is getting into relationships and/or (dare I say it) “one night stands”. If you find somebody that you really click with, go for it! “One night stands”, on the other hand, are more debatable, and if nothing else just make sure you go about that safely. The key message is that uni is not all about relationships and/or intimacy with or without strings attached, many people will come to uni already being in a relationship or having no intention of getting into a relationship, and you will not be judged for that!
There’s plenty more opportunities to get involved throughout the year; you don’t always have the time to do everything (especially if you’re doing biosciences at Cardiff Uni), and that’s okay.
On the other hand, don’t be afraid to say yes! If the only thing stopping you from doing something is your anxiety about it, but you really would like to do it, it’s important to scrunch up your worries into the tiniest ball you possibly can, toss it in the bin, and focus on the positives. You can meet new people, you will have a great time, you may find something that you are good at and that you enjoy! We often regret turning down these things in retrospect, so look at it in forethought, weigh up the positives and negatives, and tell yourself that you can grasp that bull by the horns. You won’t regret it!
Plan Ahead
This links in nicely to my last point; I’m a creature of habit and prefer to stick to a routine, so saying yes to things can be difficult for me if it’s a big(ish) thing happening at short notice. This is something I’ve been able to overcome recently as it’s not always possible to get a good heads up, but at the start of the year I’d probably need a few days’ notice!
If you’re a fellow creature of habit, it may be useful for you to plan ahead. Whether that means making a timetable, putting it on your calendar, or just setting it all out mentally, this can be a big help! Often, this helps me to assert (in my own mind) that I WILL be going through with this activity, and it also assures me that I’m leaving enough time for everything else I need to do. These plans aren’t there to be your timekeeping bible, and don’t worry if things don’t go exactly as planned, but having something in place can really encourage you to go through with things and can keep you in order when you need it!
Talk that Talk!
My first year of uni was far from perfect, and there were points where I felt like there was too much going on for me to handle. Although I never felt the need to speak to anybody about it, I was able to manage my issues alone using techniques I had learned before and still had my family and friends around, which is a big help in itself! Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case, but that doesn’t make you weak. For somebody who has never been through these issues before, or who has never learned how to manage them healthily, or who is going through tough times, it’s almost impossible to go it alone.
That DOESN’T make you weak.
In fact, none of those things could apply and you could still be in a bad place, because mental health isn’t exclusive to those experiencing hard times; you could “have it all” and still be struggling mentally. You could be the safest pedestrian around, doing the little stop look and listen every time you cross the road, but you could still get involved in an accident if a crazy driver happens to pass by. When you have all the protective factors on your side it’s less likely that things will go wrong, but it’s still not impossible!
Our brain chemistry can screw up sometimes, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.
There are many people you can speak to about how you’re feeling, be it your friends, family, a member of university staff, a worker on a helpline or your GP. Some people prefer to speak to somebody they know, while others would rather share their feelings in an anonymous manner so that they won’t feel embarrassed, ashamed or judged about what they disclose. You should do whatever is most comfortable for you, although I’ve recently found that I can communicate my feelings with friends if I write things down, while I’m absolutely useless if doing it through speech or text.
You are not a burden for vocalising how you feel. Friends and family ARE your friends and family after all, they know you and they’re there for you, and it would be bordering on impossible to be friends with somebody for years without ever once seeing them upset. We all know we wouldn’t judge somebody for coming to us during hard times, and we know that we’d do anything we could to make them feel better. Why, then, do we assume that somebody would judge us for going to them? Why do we feel that we’d be a burden for doing that? We can often feel like we don’t deserve back what we’re willing to give to others, but that’s not true. Everybody deserves friendship and everybody deserves love. Talk to somebody if you can, because you are not a burden or a downer, you deserve to be well.
Signposts
Every university has different support services, and it would be impossible for me to cover them all here, although at Cardiff University we have some of the following in place to help students struggling with mental health issues, and your university may have similar services!
Counselling & Wellbeing
Nightline
Even outside of your university, there are many sources of support around! To name just a few:
Your GP
Mental health services
Therapy (not free, so not ideal for uni students!)
Mental health helplines – too many to count!
Informational resources
(and https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ ofc (#notsponsored))
Of course, not everybody at university will experience mental health problems, and not everybody will need to receive help for their problems, and that’s great! However, if you feel like you really need somebody to talk to, or if you need to find some new ways of coping, hopefully this post has been able to nudge you in that direction.
All the best, and have a great Easter!
Luke :)
References
(1) de Girolamo, G., Dagani, J., Purcell, R., Cocchi, A. and McGorry, P.D. Age of onset of mental disorders and use of mentalhealth services: needs, opportunities and obstacles. Epidemiology and Psychiatric Sciences. 2012;21:47-57.
(2) Yap, J. The declining state of student mental health in universities and what can be done. Available from: https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/declining-state-student-mental-health-universities-and-what-can-be-done. [Accessed: 09/04/2019].
(3) Universities UK. MINDING OUR FUTURE: STARTING A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE SUPPORT OF STUDENT MENTAL HEALTH. Available from: https://www.universitiesuk.ac.uk/policy-and-analysis/reports/Documents/2018/minding-our-future-starting-conversation-student-mental-health.pdf. [Accessed: 09/04/2019].
(4) Yeung, P., Wheale, S. and Perraudin, F. University mental health services face strain as demand rises 50%. Available from: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2016/sep/23/university-mental-health-services-face-strain-as-demand-rises-50.
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